No Suga!

Damn it I'm tired! It's 5:22 pm, I went to sleep at 12:30 this afternoon and woke up again at 4:30. I finally got a dryer to put my wet clothes in that was sitting in my laundry bag all afternoon, (it only took 4 hours), how ridiculas. That's it I suppose when you're sharing dryers with an entire building, blah. I was some pissed off this morning. First off I was at work, LOL, thats always a good way to start your day, and I was 20 minutes late getting off the GD phone. I'm usually home by 9:20. So by the time I did get home this morning it was like twenty or quarter to ten, which ment that Sheldon would be leaving for work really soon (at 10:00 to catch the bus). So right off the bat, there wasn't any time for nookie this morning cuz I was so damn late getting home. I wasn't impressed at all! Then Sheldon tells me that he can't find his charger for his phone and that his phone is totally dead. So then we're both running around the apartment looking for this and we can't find it at all. I'm going to have another look around now da once. I was down on my hands and knees looking inside the shoe rack and in shoes and Sheldon stood up behind me and said "look at Jenn down on her hands and knees for me." Hahahhaha, it was the first time in my life I didn't have a come back, so I just laughed. I think I didn't have anything to say back to that becuase I like getting down on my hands and knees for Sheldon. HAHAHAHA. Did that make your eyes pop and jaw drop? Hee hee hee. Good. Sheldon makes my eyes pop too. Hahahaha ok I'll stop now. Oh my wicked ol' stuff. Anyway, I did a lot of running around this morning and waiting for my laundry to dry is the last chore I've got left to do. I just have normal stuff to do now before Sheldon comes home, like shave my legs and have a shower. ;-)
That's it I think, not much else going on really.

Poetic Pains Wrote On 10:06 PM
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Got The Life

I sometimes feel like this is all a bad dream. Like any second now I'm going to wake up from what we call "Reality" as we grow older from a child to a teenager to adulthood. I sit and think about all the things I've done so far in my life. Like going to college. What a big waste of time and money that was. The only thing I accomplished from that was running myself in the hole $29,000. I'll never fuckin own anything, I won't be able to afford it. According to the papers that I recived from "Big Brother", in 25 years I can have it all paid off. Well lucky me.... when I'm 48 years old I can finally invest in a car, or a house of my own. Yea me. Goooooooooo Team Jenn! I keep thinking that when I wake up I'll be 100 pounds lighter. Me fat? Never! I've been small my whole life. How did I get this big, and flabby? Where did these Oprah arms come from and these arangatang titties? They're not mine? Who put them there? I've never seen them before. How did I go from 8 years old to 22? How did everything in my life change so much and so fast?
When the day comes that I wake from this dream, I'll be able to walk over to Jelly Bean Square and who should I see sittin on the benches in the park?...Davey of course, with all the boys. Scotts mom will still be alive, along with Davey, neither Jeff nor Arse would have any kids, and neither would Tasha for that matter. My brother would be little again, and he'd probably be out on the road playing ball hockey with our neighbour Kirk Ellis, our local Inglis hockey player hero. Natasha and I would adore him from afar. And Desmond, or "Des", as Natasha and I would call him. He wouldn't be married or have a kid, and Natasha and I could go about bitching as normal about his girlfriend who we referred to as "Bush" becuase of the hair on her head. What a mess! LOL
I would awaken from this dream being so glad that everything I went through with Joe never really did happen, and I would still have good credit.
If I'm dreaming then that means that I never really did start smoking. I would not have really witnessed such awful things that I have seen in my life. My brother would have never gone through the horrible pain, like I did, of having a friend die at such a young age. They were still kids, just as much as we are now. It shouldn't have happened!
I wouldn't be living pay cheque to pay cheque, and worring is today the day I get fired my crappy job that I CAN'T afford to quit!
How did we all end up this way? When did I become so obsessed with trying to figure out this life? What ever happend to carefree?
The reality of it all is that this is not a dream! All this stuff actually happend and everyday keeps happening. I can't stop it. And no one else can stop it for me. That's life! We are all living in this very scarry world searching for the answers to these questions. It's not the answers to these questions that I'm mostly concerned about, I would just like to know.........is everything going to be alright?
Now, in saying all of this, I'm making my life to sound like a miserable hell. It's actually not all that bad. I do have the love of a man that I've been searching for all my life, men like Sheldon are very rare and few in this world. I also have love and kindness from his family towards me. I have Mike who ALWAYS goes out of his way to make me laugh when I'm in one of these moods. I have Lesley who has done so much for me, there were many times that I don't know what I would have done without her. She's very much like a sister to me. I've never had a sister before.
I also have many other people, like Debbie, Janice, Natasha, Tamara, and Amanda who are always there for me as well. Huh, maybe I'm a lot better off then I thought? I have it pretty fuckin good actually. When you think about it, I have more then some of the richest people in the world. Love to and from these people, won't pay off my debts, give me good credit, or bring people back from the dead, but they'll sure as hell get me through life, and make me smile and laugh more and more.
But I'm still scared and I'd still like to know......will everything be alright?

Poetic Pains Wrote On 8:48 PM
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Back By Popular Demand!

Hey all. Yes, yes, I am now updating. Hahaha. It's 10:56 am, and I'm still on the shitty overnight shifts. I haven't been to sleep yet. I'm in the midst of make a pizza now for supper, but you knows I'm gonna be having some before I go to bed and call it my breakfast. That's gonna be good to sleep on. blah. LOL. That's if I don't fall alseep first. I'm some shockin' tired despite the fact of being awake all night working, good sex always makes me even more groggier. ;-) Isn't that right honey? Hee hee hee. Oh some shockin.
Sheldon and I went to see Resident Evil yesterday. It was really scarry. Not so much scarry, just really jumpy. Twice, I felt like walking out, but I didn't, I just snuggled into Sheldon more. I was some scared. :-D I actually screamed a little bit at one part. Nonetheless, it was still a good movie. Y'all should go see it. The next movie that I think we're going to see is Wicker Park. I can't wait to see it.
Well thats all I can spill from me today, I'm too hungry and tired. I have to go cook me pizza then eat it then hit the hay. Till next time. Night night or day day which ever time you read this. Hee hee
Oh yeah, it's my parents 24th anniversary today!

Poetic Pains Wrote On 3:39 PM
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Home again, home again, jiggity jig!

The bus ride home to Bishop's was good. It was certainly a beautiful day for traveling once we got out of the city, away from the fog and dampness. The sun was out for the whole trip home. I had a window seat, and there was hardly anyone on the bus. As we passed everything, I really felt like I was seeing everything for the first time. I guess it's becuase it's been so long since i've seen that stretch, that this time around, I didn't take anything for granted. Well when I got home, there was no one there. Everyone was at work. Turns out that mom was able to get Saturday and Sunday off just not Friday, which was fine, I didn't mind it at all. So I went across the tracks to Foodland, where she and my brother were working, and walking out of the store with a loads of bags of groceries in his hands was this very tall, young guy, with a beard, who looked very familiar to me. I almost walked right passed him before I realized it was my brother. Man oh man, he looked so differnet and so grown up. He's a man now I guess. I wish he didn't have to grow up. But anyway, I tried to attack him with a hug out in the parkinglot, but he kinda moved away from me and said, "Jenn, I'm working", and then giggled. Well I expected that much anyway. So I went on into the store and found Mom. I can still see her big smile in my head. God love her. Well buddy she hugged me and didn't care if she was working or not. Like anyother mom I suppose. LOL. So I stayed there for a few mins and talked to her for a while, then I went home and unpacked and got settled away. I spent a few hours with my dog, Brandy. Oh man, he was some excited I tell ya. He went nuts. He was tied on out in the back yard, and I was only half way in the porch when he knew it was me. He started barking, and doing this little high-pitched growling thing that he does when he gets really excited. So I let him in the house and he went right retarted. He jumped all over me, licked me to death, then he ran from one end of the house to the other a few times, then jumped on me again, and licked me some more. He loves ears, so my ears and chin were covered in doggie slobber, blah, but I let him go on tho. Once he calmed down a bit, I scrubbed myself clean again, and then I went and played with him for a little while until someone came home. I've got tons of picutres of him too. I missed my little doggie so much.
Anyway, Friday night, I went out with my friend Natasha. We walked the same stretch of road that I used to walk all the time as a teenager. As I was walking up the road to meet Natasha, the usual teenagers were hangin about the same old places, but I suddenly realized, that I don't know any of them. I didn't recognize one single person. Usually, you'd see a younger brother or sister of someone that you know, but that wasn't the case this time. Everyone that I know is older then that actually and are probably gone away or are passed the stages of these hang outs. That was a little depressing to me, but it didn't last long, becuase I saw Natasha strutting down the street walking faster and faster towards me. She hugged me for a long time and then we walked back up the street towards "the hill" where we both grew up. As we coming across my cousin's house, Rex and Karen's, we heard voices coming from their back yard, so we walked up the driveway, and there they were in the back yard havin a drink and listening to music. So we hung out there for about an hour then left again. I wanted to finish walking to the top of the hill to see the house that I used to live in. No changes have been made to the house I used to live in but the houses surrounding it have changed quite a bit. I went looking for the little tiny pot hole in the road there and it was paved over. Well after an hour of all this deijavu, it was going for midnight and I had a half hour walk in front of me. So I went home and went to bed.
I'll write about Saturday and Sunday tomorrow. I'm going to go spend time time with Sheldon, Les and Mike now. Well......mostly Sheldon. :-D

Poetic Pains Wrote On 1:22 AM
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