Sniff Sniff Continued

My brother has hit the road by now I'd say. I also found out when I was talking to him the morning, that he's going to Fort McMurry. I guess thats spelt right. I'm so glad thats where's he's going. We know sooooo many people from there, and plus that place is full of Newfies. I just hope that Jeffrey will make a better life for his self while he's there. He's in the perfect place to do so. I know he'll do fine. I'll just miss him more then I already do. And of course, you know me, worry about him like crazy. But thats just the big sister in me I guess, always looking after her little brother. Oh I wish he was little again! God love him. Well I'd better stop now cuz I can feel tears coming on and I have to leave for work in like 15 minutes. *Huffs* Will post later.

Poetic Pains Wrote On 5:34 PM
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Snif Snif

So my brother is leaving for Alberta tomorrow. Will post more later.

Poetic Pains Wrote On 3:36 PM
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Where's Sheldon?

Where oh where is Sheldon gone?
Oh where oh where could he be?
Is he on the land? Is he on the sea?
Oh where oh where could he be?

I'll tell you where the fuck he's too. He's out on the bloody couch again!!! Yes, apparently I've been snoring again. I fuckin hate it when he gets out of his bed to go sleep on the couch because of me. He wont make me go out there. I'd preferr that he'd do that, I would sleep just as good out there cuz I'd know in the back of my mind while I sleep that I wouldn't be bothering anyone. But no, he gets up and goes on the couch to sleep. I hate it so much when he does that. I know he'd sleep better if he was in his bed. He has work earlier then me everyday, plus I don't give a flying fuck if I get any sleep or not, I never give a fuck about myself. OH I am so mad at myself! Its always one fuckin thing after another with me, first the wedding, then it was something else right after that I can't really remember what it was but I can remember Lesley and I out in the kitchen and she was naming off all the things to me that I've missed out on since Sheldon and I started going out. Then something else that happend the other night when Sheldon and I were gone for the night, something that I had planned but it didn't work out quite the way I planned it cuz I chickened out and got shy...I hate it when that happens, so I cried about that. Then there was last night. On Saturday I mentioned to Sheldon that I'll finish work at 8 on Sunday and wanted him to come and meet me. Which happens some times, and everytime he does come to meet me, he's always at home when I call him to tell him to "come on, I'm leaving work now". Well Last night I was on the phones at work until 8:20, just as I was clocking out, my friend Ryan passed me and said he was going home, so I asked him could I have a ride and he said come on now. Then Judith wanted a ride too, but before she was ready she had to run and tell somebody something, which did give me like 3 or 4 minutes that I could have used to call Sheldon and tell him not to come and meet me, that I'm getting a ride now. It was pretty fuckin cold last night and I really didn't want him to walk in the cold, he's getting the flu I think bit by bit everyday for the last couple of days. Anyways, did I call him? No of course not. Too fuckin stubbron for that and I assumed that he would be home waiting for me to call him. But I should NEVER assume anything cuz I just make an ASS out of U and ME. Boy is that ever true! So I went on home in the car with Ryan, I walked in the apartment and Mike and Les were on the couch, and Mike says to me, "Where's Sheldon?" and I thought that he was just kidding around with me. I looked everywhere in the apartment for him and Sheldon was gone, Mike wasn't kidding at all. I was so pissed off. Mike loaned me his phone to call Sheldon. I called him and do you know where he was? I'll tell ya. He was at Tim's in front of work waiting for me. He had left like 10 to 8 to go and wait over at Tim's cuz he was expecting a call from me when I got off of work. He had a tea for himself, and he had bought me a coffe and a doughnut. Which he threw out later. How fuckin sweet is that? And I FUCKED THAT UP TOO!!!!!!! Oh I'm just one fuckin disappointment right after another. I'm so sick of it. People would be better off without me ya know. I've always believed that, and maybe thats why I still don't really feel at home here yet. I don't know. But I'm so sick of myself. And yes, the time that will be posted at the bottom of this entry is the right time. It's that flippin early! I'm off today and I don't care if I do get back to sleep. I first woke up at 5ish and realized that Sheldon wasn't in the bed with me anymore. Now at some point in the night I woke up just when Sheldon was getting out of the bed and I asked him where he was going and he said the bathroom, so I didn't think anything else of it, and went back to sleep. I think he just said that so I wouldn't wake up like I am now. I was probably snoring then and thats probably the time he left to go sleep on the couch. Yeah I'd say thats what he did. He didn't even take his pillow or anything with him. He's out wrapped up in my comforter that I brought from home and on one of the pilliows thats out on the couch. I knows he's nar bit uncomfortable on that. Oh me fuckin nerves are shot. I'm going for a cigerette and maybe a little cry of self pitty. Who know's. I'm always cryin' over stupid shit that I say and do. I only do it in the dark tho mind you, when everyones asleep, so no one can catch me. Oh I wish I could just stop being such a disappointment to others and myself!!! Oh I'm so mad at myself!!! The back of my throat is aching right now so I'm gonna go. Take care everyone and don't disappoint like me!

Poetic Pains Wrote On 11:13 AM
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Don't Come Looking For Us

Don't come looking for us, Sheldon and I, tonight cuz we won't be home. Tonight we will be staying at the lovely Quality Inn Hotel. :-D
Huh, I don't know how "lovely" it is, since I've never been there before but I'll let you know later I guess. I can't wait to go. Sheldon and I are celebrating our second month anniversary and this is my gift to him. Well it's part of it anyway, hee hee hee ;-)
Oh I'm so excited. I'm in such a good mood today, and I bet work is gonna drag on and on and feel like 10:15 will never get here. blah. The main thing is that it will eventually get here, wheather I crack up or not waiting is another story, j/k. So check out is at 11 am, yeah i know its early, but we're gonna catch a bus back here to the apartment, drop off the suitcase, and then catch the bus again to go back downtown, and Sheldon will treat he and I to breakfast. After we spend some time downtown together, when we come back here, we're going to move all my crap from the living room into his room. I really don't feel all that comfortable in doing that, cuz this is his room, he calls it "ours", but I feel like I'm taking it over. Blah. But Sheldon tells me not to be so foolish, he says its our room, so I just have to keep reminding myself that I guess. But it still makes me a little uncomfortable.
Anyway, I've gotta go and get ready for work now, so I'll post again another day and let ya'll know how everything goes.
Take care.

Poetic Pains Wrote On 4:13 PM
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I could talk about.....

Thanks for the comments all. And Janny Baby, where did you hear about nurse Lola? Last I heard all of her services were postponed for the next 5 to 7 days. hahahahha.
There is a lot that I could talk about. I could talk about the wonderful dinner we had yesterday, I could talk about Christmas shopping, I could talk about me and Sheldon went down to George Street on Friday and didn't have a slow dance, but I won't becuase I have to get ready for work now so I will post something tonight. :-)

Poetic Pains Wrote On 5:31 PM
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Huff and Puff

Come on tomorrow. I can't wait to start my period tomorrow so that I can get it over with. Oh man these mood swings are driving me crazy. Yes, I hear you laughing Janice, mood swings are usual for me but they get worse when I'm on the pill. I've been on the pill all this month and one minute I could cry and the next I could put my fist through something kinda thing. I'm in a sad mood right now. It will pass wether I want it to or not, it will and it has to because I have to go to work in like 25 minutes. I'd rather sit here, do nothing and be depressed all day. But no I cannot do that, I have to go out in the world and make me some money. LOL I'm tired too. I'm still not used to working days yet and I want to sleep during the day. Oh well I'll get over it, just like I get over everything else.
Later.

Poetic Pains Wrote On 5:28 PM
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